Feeling Stuck? Reach Out.
In this series, we’ve been exploring techniques which allow us to create a new mindset to reignite our lives. There have been times even recently when I’ve sat down with a list of what needed to be accomplished and committed to getting it done, but instead of moving forward, I felt completely stopped. So much so that I felt almost paralyzed even to begin.
An internal pep talk didn’t cure it. Coffee didn’t help. It was almost as if someone pulled my proverbial plug. I felt immobilized.
Rationally, it really wasn’t that the list was too long. It was the feeling of being stuck -- stuck, frustrated, and overwhelmed.
The worst part of this feeling is that it can make you want to shut down entirely.
Some of us are the black-and-white sorts; it all has to get done or nothing gets done at all. If the list isn’t fully crossed off, we somehow didn’t accomplish enough that day.
Sometimes we feel isolated and alone as if we are on our own and no one will truly understand how we feel. In those times, we can shut down which serves only to make us shrink and turn inward. Kind of like that “suffer in silence” way of being or "this too shall pass .…”
Remind yourself that when you shut someone or something out, you are censoring reality. When we shut down and don’t allow others into our lives and our world, it’s next to impossible to move beyond that feeling of immobilization. It’s almost like shutting down increases our feelings of being paralyzed making it even harder to get moving again.
First, remember that NOTHING is permanent.
NOTHING ever stays the same.
It's time to listen.
Great decision-makers appear from the outside to be very decisive and single-minded. But this disguises how they actually arrive at a decision, which involves a period of searching. While searching, they open their minds to all kinds of information, spreading the net as wide as possible.
In other words, great decision-makers look to others to challenge their thinking and shed a new light on dierent ways of thinking.
I bet if you look at your own decision-making, you may notice the times when you bounce ideas off of your friends and family. From the input you gather, you can assess how their ideas and suggestions land with you and then make your decision from there.
At other times, you may make decisions on your own in a vacuum only to find those decisions may not have been your best.
Try listening to people who you’ve been shutting out, whatever your reason was originally. We can all tell when we're being shut out, and we all have the same reaction. It doesn’t feel pleasant and we have no real desire or motivation to help that person.
Instead, see if you can gradually allow others back into your life. Allow as many viewpoints as you can to enter your mental landscape. Allow yourself to truly listen to the input of others. That rigid mindset of “I can do it myself” or “I don’t need anyone” is soon melted away.
People just want to contribute and feel like they matter and have something of value to share.
Have you ever noticed how much people brighten up when you ask them what they think about a certain idea or situation? Or have you ever noticed when someone offers to do something nice for you but you refuse for whatever reason? Have you noticed how when you refused you actually took the wind out of their sails?
Just allowing someone the space and grace to contribute to you opens all kinds of doors for communication, generosity and kindness.
Sometimes, we come to a situation thinking we actually know the answers and maybe we actually do. But what if, by simply allowing someone else the opportunity to communicate their feelings and thoughts, you actually adopt a different viewpoint yourself?
What if you don’t know what you don’t know and you never got to find out because you didn’t allow space for someone to contribute to you?
On another note, if you’re feeling stuck and stymied, perhaps joining a Meetup or community in your area that creates activities similar to your interests with like-minded people will help you feel less isolated, alone and separate. We have one beautiful community here at Satsang House! Or maybe join a business networking group, where you will begin to expose yourself to all sorts of other businesses and entrepreneurs.
Not only will you find yourself more inspired by what others are doing but you may even begin to network yourself into a new hobby, interest or even a new career.